It’s been a while since I really updated you all on how I’m doing as a new mom.
I’m getting better about not worrying about everything. It sounds pretty silly, but a few years ago there was a sitcom on TV called, My Name is Earl, and Earl’s mantra was “Do good things and good things happen”. I’ve tried to live by that same philosophy and I think life really does reflect what you put into it.
When I drop Colt off at daycare in the morning I spend time playing with him and talking with his teachers. I mean like 20 mins. It’s important for me to connect and start the day off with a positive attitude.
There’s a boy that gets dropped off around the same time I’m there every day. His mother always looks rushed, and as she quickly sets him at the table, she throws a few puffs in front of him, says a quick goodbye, and she’s gone. I overheard her tell the teacher that the little boy had last ate at 4am.
I’ve had a range of judgments about this mother. Most of them falling on ‘rude’, but I try to remind myself that it isn’t easy being a mom and I don’t know her story. I remind myself after encounters with her that if I’m a grumpy jerk to my son, Colt’s going to pick up on that. And even if it was a lack of sleep due to him waking up, there’s no sense in letting it ruin our day. Best to break the cycle and move on.
Pumping has become a new adventure. I’m getting about 8 ounces every day, which is a big drop from 2 months ago. Between dropping a pump, and getting my period, I’m able to provide Colt one bottle a day. I’m going to keep at it as long as I’m still getting a bottles worth. Once it dips tho, I’ll wean and start giving him milk from the freezer stash. With any luck, I’ll make it to a year.
I’m okay with that too. I am looking forward to going to bed any time after Colt does. And not having to wake up right away on the weekends. Plus, with him on the move, I can hardly find 20 minutes for myself.
In the morning, I either have to get up and pump and then get Colt up, or wake him up and feed him while I pump. I sit on the couch. He crawls to the couch, pulls himself up to standing and then tries to pull and grab at the tubing. Twice now, that has ended with him losing his balance, me trying to catch him, but him hitting the floor instead. Poor baby.
I know bumps and bruises will happen.
Still doesn’t make seeing your baby hurt any easier.
When he does fall, I explain to him about accidents. I know he’s probably not able to understand that. But I’m hoping that will eventually calm him when he does.
Mike is great with Colt. I only wish he’d be home earlier to spend more time with him. But that’s not going to change for a little while thanks to work. Mike makes my lunch in the morning, and gets the coffee pot ready to go each night. We continue to work on supporting each other.
Since I haven’t convinced myself to return to derby yet, I’ve been itching to start seeing more of my friends who have kids. It’d be nice to hang out with people while Colt has someone to play with. Two mommies I talk with quite a bit with kids near Colt’s age both live 1000s of miles away.
And those are some of my favorite conversations too! It’s amazing to me how much alike and different we are in our parenting styles. One thing that is still so evident is how much we love our kids.
Motherhood is exciting, challenging, tiring, and I couldn’t ask for it to be any different. I continue to look forward to new adventures, new experiences, and new joys. And if there’s a little frustration, exhaustion, or even heartache, I know that it’ll only be for a short while. I have wonderful friends and family to see me through.